Shell Of A Woman
“I became good at pretending. I became so good that after a while the lines blurred between my truth and fiction. And sometimes, when I did a really good job of pretending, I even fooled myself.”― Ruta Sepetys
My name is Ketra, and I am SO pleased to have the opportunity to share my story with you! My only desire is that I am able to help you move into greatness and help reveal all of the beauty inside of yourself!
My healing journey did not begin by choice. I didn’t wake up one day thinking…
“Today, I am going to be a better me”!
In fact, I would say it was quite the opposite. I honestly thought that I was ‘ok’ and that the problem wasn’t a need for internal change. I saw my life as needing external alterations. I needed to change my job, my car, my relationship, my hair… (Insert Solange “Cranes in the Sky” here). I ALWAYS kept myself busy, running around in circles only making myself dizzy. On a path leading me to nowhere.
Through forced changes, my life quickly went from marriage to divorce. Six figures to barely making it.
Within 12 months I endured DRAMA, stress, and financial loss. Inside I was a complete wreck. There were many mornings that I had to force myself out of bed and push to make it through the day. Push myself to just TRY again. My question to God was HOW? How am I supposed to keep going?
Everything I had was being poured into everyone else! How was I supposed to keep going when there was nothing left in the tank for myself?
On the outside, to others, I looked amazing! I would receive compliments daily…”Ketra, you are always so positive”, “Ketra, you’re so professional”, “Ketra, I don’t know how you do it”.
How did I do it? Every morning I would put on my “happy uniform” to get by, and with a made up face, dope fit, and laid hairdo I would press through each day. All of this was fake though. It was just a mere shell to mask the woman inside that was crying out for help.
Taking time out for yourself isn’t selfish. However, we seldom take the opportunity to indulge in “me time”. We feel obligated to show up for others. Meanwhile, placing self-care onto the back burner.
-What/Who do you devote majority of your time to?
-Can you think of a time when you wanted to tune everything out but had to keep going?
-How did you feel?
-What motivates you to get up and keep going each day?
This non-profit is dedicated to the woman who is in search of self. For the woman rediscovering life, and the woman who is about to take her initial plunge into womanhood.
These entries are my entire heart poured out, page by page, in the most vulnerable way possible. It is all my truth, and has been written to prevent, detour, and rescue other women from a dangerous route of self-reproaching, and to place them onto a healthy road to self-discovery.